2

Day 2.

Went to P. Jong's church plant today - small, friendly, new: I can't wait to see God grow this church into a group of people that's passionate about serving God. I think the same thing when I think about P. Jung's church in Minnesota: both of these churches now are where CFC was, 20 years ago. I can't wait to see God raise up a generation that desires to see Him.

Also, saw Hans and Irene and Emeth (he's so big now!) today: again, my heart breaks at how amazingly faithful they've been, through their ministry, in their daily lives, through their endless patience with a bum like me. I'm so thankful for the Presence through people like them in my life. We had combined service today at CCMC - Pastor Pua preached on Hab. 3:5-19. A big theme was the classic question, "Why do the wicked prosper?" The message was that God has a plan - be thankful and rejoice! Oh, how I wish that I knew what God's plan was for me, so I wouldn't be so anxious about it all the time. But it's clear every day how plentiful His covenant blessings truly are, and more fundamentally, how deep and how wide and how indescribable is the abundance in mercy of the LORD. His name is indeed higher than any. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Lastly, what stuck out to me most today was a reminder of my complete powerlessness. (Likewise, I was also reminded of my persistent delusion that I have control over my life and the lives of others). A point made by Piper in the reading today was that we ought to be filled with the Holy Spirit, as to supplant sin entirely. When every single crack and crevice of your being is overflowing with the Spirit, with the Word of God, there is no room for sin! And yet how I think that I can fight the battle on my own, by human strength. Humans can't change anything, can't even fight the battle how it ought to be fought - and, Piper says, we can't even see the battle correctly! He writes, "Some Christians take the path of stoicism in the fight against sensuality. It doesn't work. It's not biblical. It is hopelessly weak and ineffective. And the reason it fails is that the power of sin comes from its promise of pleasure and is meant to be defeated by the blood-bought promise of superior pleasure in God, not by raw human willpower. Willpower religion, when it succeeds, gets glory for the will. It produces legalists, not lovers." I pray that I might be humbled and amazed at the work of the Holy Spirit, and that I might shut up and let him do His job - what he's best at, and what his joy is in doing. Oh, how He loves us.

To close: we really are powerless. I have no passion of my own, no desire of my own, no righteousness of my own. Everything is God-breathed, God-given. Pastor Jong said today, "You can't change anybody. You can't change anybody's life, or change anybody's heart. But, you can burn." Oh, that the Spirit of God might burn within me!